I always feel weird about people from Craigslist coming to buy stuff from my dad while we’re eating dinner. I mean seriously, one night, I was sitting in my pajamas and my dad and I were eating off of paper plates and this entire family came into our (not very large) living room to look at a bicycle. Anyway. Tonight, as I was making dinner, a guy came by to look at my dad’s fish statues. [to understand this, you’ll need to know that my dad is passionate about three things:cars,fishing,and making our house look like a home.] So about two minutes before the guy walks in my dad decides to tell me that he’s selling them because the DMV fees are going up and there’s no way to pay in advance before they double. So here I am sobbing over breakfast. (yeah, we had breakfast for dinner and it was bomb.) It just kills me to see all of these things[adding up to about 2 grand] that my dad has worked so hard to afford being swapped for a lousy $300 bucks. [and the “about to blow my brains out” comment he made on the phone to the DMV lady wasn’t helping with the tears.] He’s probably the greatest guy you’ll ever meet because all he’s ever done is do people favors without asking for anything in return, and it’s a shame that he’s got nowhere to turn when he needs help. The only reason he’s in this predicament is because he changed his taxes to help support my mom and I when things were bad. So the guy leaves and my dad walks into the kitchen with a look on his face that just broke me. We proceeded to cry and hug, which is probably how I burnt the sausage…

There’s just so much I want to do for him. I wish I made enough money to help, even the tiniest bit. Unfortunately, making frappuccinos and over-modified lattes for a year and a half isn’t enough to support myself for two weeks. (i’m just now making 9 dollars an hour. really howard schultz?) Tomorrow would be my parents 17th wedding anniversary, which I know will be a tough day for him, and I can’t even afford to send him some flowers at work because i’m scrounging for cash until Friday. I’m so unhappy and I can’t even imagine how my dad feels.

I just wish things would get better for us. I need them to. :(